Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
