Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
