I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
