she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize