i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Panties = found
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
