Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
