My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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