he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
