do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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