Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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