Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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