I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
