a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
