I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
