If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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