Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize