I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
