Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
even my farts smell like vagina
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
