ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
