Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
