After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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