He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
