So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We just shotgunned beers for America
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Text me some of your sweat
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