she was so not down for the gang bang
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
