i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize