He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
