i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
