i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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