Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
