Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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