Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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