ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
