So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
