whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
