I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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