Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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