He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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