In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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