I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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