This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
