So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Alive.
So much puke
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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