Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
