Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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