That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
