I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
