google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
