I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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