whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
