Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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