i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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