i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hippo gnu deer
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
