There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
