People with herpes should wear stickers.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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