All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
