am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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