I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
