Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
