He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
