Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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