dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
