i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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