so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize