in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize